When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.
Jesus I envy that relationship.
this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”.
My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.
i love all of your moms
When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.
That last story is worth reblogging
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST
So my driving teacher has three fingers on one hand and four on the other and he makes puns about it and it’s great.
And today he was like
“I went to the museum and found my ancestors’ look guys!”
And showed us this…
WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES
Marvel Comics is making Thor a woman. From Time Magazine:
TIME: How do you think this will impact fans who have been with the male version of Thor for such a long time?
Jason Aaron, writer of the Thor series: If you’re a long-time Thor fan you know there’s kind of a tradition from time to time of somebody else picking up that hammer. Beta Ray Bill was a horse-faced alien guy who picked up the hammer. At one point Thor was a frog. So I think if we can accept Thor as a frog and a horse-faced alien, we should be able to accept a woman being able to pick up that hammer and wield it for a while, which surprisingly we’ve never really seen before.
their taking a ton of risks lately even making red falcon the new captain america
i changed my name on tf2 to ‘Gamer Girl’ and im immediately being messaged by people ?????????? ?????????????
after being badgered for 2 minutes i was then banned from a server for ‘begging for items’. Only thing I ever said was ‘what’
just a quick update i am now extorting pre-teen boys for hats
Born a gentleman.
you know, i’m a raging lesbian and i was never distracted by what other girls in my classes were wearing in high school. this is a male problem, not an “attracted to women” problem.
This is an “inability to respect women” problem.
Which is a male problem.
Which is a societal problem, having a penis doesn’t make you a bad person.